As a hypnothrerapist, NLP Trainer and an Energy worker, I see many clients who insist that their high expectations always be met. One of my Clients Mary was having a great challenge communicating with her family. She expected her family to always meet her expectations. This desire to always have her expectations met created all kind of stress and havoc in her life because she and her family were always fighting with each other. One day she discovered that her way, standard, of expectations were very high. In other words she expected her family to do everything to her high standards. It was Marys stressful way or the highway. Consequently, because of her insistence of having her expectations met, her family was a dismal failure in her eyes. This obviously was a very stressful situation. Mary also realized another profound truth. No one in her family was aware of her required standard and many expectations. In other words Marys family was playing a game based on expectations and only Mary knew the rules. When she recognized that she was setting her high standard and judging everybody accordingly, Mary then became aware of the unnecessary havoc and stress she was creating through her need to have her family meet her many expectations. This experience now allows her to respect the expectations of others, because she had no right to expect her family to operate or meet her standard. This discovery allows her to keep her perspective, relax and respect the standards of others. So what is the moral of the story? If you are working with a team or a group it is very important that the rules and expectation be spelled out so that eveyone knows what is expected of them. It is impossible to accomplish any goal in life if all the players are not aware of the rules and expectations. |
